Shore Thing

At some point in the beginning of the second season of "Jersey Shore," I was watching an episode with my sister and I had a moment of frightening clarity. I realized that, if plied with copious amounts of alcohol and then presented with the opportunity, there is a 75% chance that I would hook up with castmember "DJ" Pauly D. In the moments that followed that realization, I of course had to do an in-depth psychological analysis of myself. For one, the man is definitely on Valtrex. For two, there is a good chance a single strand of his hair would bruise me. But I watched the season finale last night and you can't escape the fact that there is something charming about the little sucker, even when he is screaming in tongues from the depths of a gurgling hot tub. Like all of the other castmembers, he operates on pure intuition and by intuition I mean sex drive. But there's something a bit diamond in the rough about him, such as, if he was sequestered in a room for the rest of his life with access to only one attractive woman who speaks in full sentences, he might be completely content. Also, I have a thing for tattoos. So there's that.