Hello There

It’s a good thing I stumbled upon the first “Twilight” book in an airport and got hooked before the series became scream-inducingly popular because I probably wouldn’t have read it otherwise. I don’t know. Like, I’m sure the Dan Brown books are super addictive, but I seem to have an aversion towards anything endorsed by Oprah or 15 million other people. I like my books a bit obscure, just like my men (segue). For example, James McAvoy is one of those heartthrobs who’s somewhat unexpected, and isn’t that nice? Here he is promoting his new movie “The Last Station” which I know nothing about but will definitely see. I bet in person he’s wee and a little unwashed, but that’s ok.

Cannot WAIT

This "Jersey Shore" show is really going to be a hoot, don't you think? Last night, somewhere in between Justin Bobby's ITALIA stomach tattoo and Erin Kaplan's aggressive hemlines, those crazy people over at MTV decided to treat us to a nice little glimpse into the world of Shore castmember Sammi. And-phew-that was mind-erasing! Sammi refers to herself as a "Guidette," what I can only guess is the female version of a Guido. That's nice. She then proceeds to define the term, explaining that Guidettes have "pretty hair...tan skin...wear the hottest heels" and know how to "club it up," which is another phrase I can add to my learn-something-new-every-day list. p.s. Sammi's on the far right of this picture in the pink leopard bikini top. I think her pose says: Pretty hair!

Love A Good Sequin

Every once in a while I daydream about the coming of H&M and Zara websites. Like, real websites where you can place items of clothing into your little shopping cart and gaze at them appreciatively before your credit card is even charged. They're coming soon, you know. But for now, the closest cousin is Forever21.com, a dangerous mix of EVERYTHING and everything costs like $5. There are a few tops on the site right this very second of a similar ilk to the above and I basically want all of them, which adds up to more than $5. I wonder if Ms. Zoe is feeling my vibe as well.

Disconnect

I am perplexed by the Luke Wilson for AT&T commercials. First of all, what happened?! This is Owen Wilson’s brother. The guy who starred in “The Royal Tennenbaums” and once dated Gwyneth Paltrow (I think). He's from Texas! Now he’s pointing at a big map of the United States talking about 3G networks and he looks like he spent the last 3months sitting around in Uggs and a bathrobe reading Clive Cussler novels. I mean. He def showed up on set with a full beard and some production assistant had to make him an appointment STAT at the barber. Not to mention, who are these companies hiring to hammer out their next ad concept? Your kid brother? Bad enough we already have to deal with Brad Garrett skipping down Robertson Blvd chugging Sprite. Now this [shakes head and takes a sip of dark liquor from a tumbler glass]?

Seeing Red

Ashley Greene is a stunner. And her dorky Alice wig in the "Twilight" movies doesn't even begin to do her justice. Same goes for this red suit. Hello there!

I Say

Everyone’s been a John Mayer fan at some point, even if it was for 30 seconds back in 2003 when you discovered yourself singing out loud in the car to “Your Body is a Wonderland” and then promptly stopped and switched the station. It’s OK. We’ve all been there. I’ve admittedly been to like NINE shows. And I think he’s super talented and analytical and mischievous. The guy doesn’t take things too seriously so that’s always a plus. But enough with the playboy shtick. Because his new single “Who Says” is technically really good pop and classic Mayer-catchy with a great melody, a bit dreamy and melancholy. I will probably buy it. But the lyrics are pure Dbag, so essentially he’s taken a great effort and cancelled it out. I dunno. I think he’s got it in him to be more.

Vegan Cookies

Andy Samberg’s SNL digital shorts are hit or miss. He loves playing up the random, which is a risk and sometimes you find yourself staring at Brian Austin Green in a robot mask [miss]. That said, every once in a while he pops up in a solid live sketch and it’s about as funny as funny gets. Case in point, the “Mellow” talk show sketch from Saturday’s episode-featuring Dave Matthews as a spot-on Ozzy Osbourne-was one of the best things he’s done since “Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals.” I was laughing so hard I had to press pause on the DVR and take a time out.

Nightmares

My sister found this bed on Orvis.com and sent the link to me as a joke. I would like to have a look at the people who purchase this item.