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Ahhh, remember the days (above). Not so much anymore. And so, a listicle inspired by Monday’s episode:
-DAN HUMPHREY! Stop talking so fast. It doesn’t make your quips sound any quippier.
-Jenny Humphrey…like many a makeup artist (outside of those who are employed by your show) will tell you, when it comes to lips and eyes, you must make a choice. One or the other! You cannot have both. We agree, Blondie is the bomb. Except it is not 1983. And you are 12.
-Vanessa, Vanessa, Vanessa. Shudder.
-Serena, I covet your entire outfit (+ major hair envy) in the party scene. You are free to go.
-Pretty Nate! I’m sure you do like to “experiment,” now, don’t you? Run along.
-To Blair, Chuck and all others involved in the implausible, tangled, eye-brow crossing “Goatee Bandit Uncle Faux-or-Not? Mother” plot line: get out while you can. You’re just going to find yourselves stranded outside of Silvercup Studios with nary a driver or borrowed dress in sight. This ridiculousness sounds the end.