On a good day, Giuliana DePandi Seacrest Ranic is tolerable at best. There’s something “gagging to fit the Hollywood mold” about her, what with the tan skin and the spider arms and the ginormous alien head. She’s always going on and on about George Clooney the way Rosie O’Donnell used to about Tom Cruise. Poor Anna Kendrick (who also annoys me, but in a different way) bore the brunt of this tired gimic at the Globes when Giuliana tried flagging down Clooney with Kendrick as bait. Didn’t pan out well, and Anna ended up standing there making that “you’re a 12-year-old” face. So. Last night I watched that terrible fashion police show on E! with Joan Rivers who keeps making gruesome jokes about her saggy boobs and bathroom habits. Giuliana is sitting there looking very tan and styled once again and a picture of Joan Allen pops up on the screen with Joan wearing some sort of frightening necklace at the SAG’s (above photo courtesy of Go Fug Yourself, obvs). It’s terrible, everyone agrees, and Joan (Rivers, that is) says something about calamari which makes no sense at all. And THEN Giuliana, out of nowhere, likens the piece to Brad Pitt’s facial hair, which is actually an astute and funny observation. I thought to myself: I’m not sure that actually just happened. Or did her gay assistant feed her that line? But either way, credit where credit is due.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
That Necklace
On a good day, Giuliana DePandi Seacrest Ranic is tolerable at best. There’s something “gagging to fit the Hollywood mold” about her, what with the tan skin and the spider arms and the ginormous alien head. She’s always going on and on about George Clooney the way Rosie O’Donnell used to about Tom Cruise. Poor Anna Kendrick (who also annoys me, but in a different way) bore the brunt of this tired gimic at the Globes when Giuliana tried flagging down Clooney with Kendrick as bait. Didn’t pan out well, and Anna ended up standing there making that “you’re a 12-year-old” face. So. Last night I watched that terrible fashion police show on E! with Joan Rivers who keeps making gruesome jokes about her saggy boobs and bathroom habits. Giuliana is sitting there looking very tan and styled once again and a picture of Joan Allen pops up on the screen with Joan wearing some sort of frightening necklace at the SAG’s (above photo courtesy of Go Fug Yourself, obvs). It’s terrible, everyone agrees, and Joan (Rivers, that is) says something about calamari which makes no sense at all. And THEN Giuliana, out of nowhere, likens the piece to Brad Pitt’s facial hair, which is actually an astute and funny observation. I thought to myself: I’m not sure that actually just happened. Or did her gay assistant feed her that line? But either way, credit where credit is due.
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